When you fall backwards while peeing outside, a few things race through your mind: “Did anyone see that? Did I just roll in my own pee? Yes, THAT just happened”.
Where do we go from here?…Probably to Weight Watchers- that poor tree was trying its hardest to hold me up so that I didn’t fill my waders with my own water waste. It couldn’t take the weight-
It choked, gaggled and failed under the pressure. I rolled backwards down the little hill with my waders at mid-knee length and arms flailing through the fall leaves. [I hope the trees are alive with real feelings and brains like in the kids movies, just so they can have something to laugh at through the long, cold winter ahead. You’re welcome, trees].
I stumble back to the camp fire, pulling leaves out from under my shirt and plucking sticks out of my hair, while laughing hysterically. I tell my story, in-between snickers, and my husband rolls his eyes and only smiles. He better not say too much here anyways.
Of all the times in my life I have peed outside, this was my first tumble. I ponder if it is correlated with age- maybe I should look into buying some ‘Depends’ for these family weekend fishing trips? Sigh. Snicker. Smile.
The camp fire warms up my tushy and my son and his friend roast hot dogs for lunch (I loved this sentence- you should read it again). The leaves fly through the air with the chilly wind- I stare out at the river and notice the mountain in the distance is already riddled with snow. My fly rod is next to me, my husband is on the other side, a friend is near, my dogs are in the water, my son is playing kindly, I just had a decent belly laugh and I am out under a blue sky- my smile is unceasing.
I notice my new lab puppy is playfully throwing something in the air.
“What is in the baby’s mouth?”, I ask my husband. [Sidenote: since we already have three kids, we are accidentally treating the new puppy like our fourth child- saying things like ‘night night baby’ to get her to sleep, and sometimes putting her in the baby front pack like THOSE kinds of people that try to sneak dogs into stores like they are special. We are special alright].
He runs over and picks her up and says, “I don’t know, it looks like something dead”
“Pull it out! Gross”, I yell, while thinking about the baby crawling years and all the nasty things I have pulled out of my children’s mouths.
Instead of reaching his hands in to get it, my husband turns her upside down and gives her a good shake. I laugh at him out loud (you know, lol) and he finally plucks out a chunk of deer hide with bloody tinged hair patches on it. The puppy looks like a werwolf, with blood around her chops. Oh well- its the fourth kid so we arent running off to the vet or anything.
Like back country hicks, we continue to eat our hotdogs even though there is a carcass hanging around somewhere. The boys are playing their own version of transformers, and we visit, until I see a fin rise out of the water near by. I always have one eye on the water- like my brain was made to multitask in this sort of fashion.
My friend, and I make our way to the river and my husband fishes from shore. My friend heads up-stream a ways and I fish my way to the middle of the river to stand and be able to cast in various directions.
The current is strong enough to evoke a trickle sound as it moves round my legs in its path. The sun is on my face, my loved ones are near by and the trickle sound is in my ears; this is the best of every one of my worlds combined. To be in the middle of this river is a perspective so few are able to find.
Out of the corner of my eye I see something moving towards me and my heart begins to race for a moment. I quickly turn around to find its a tumbleweed just randomly bobbing its way down the river. I pick a few songs in my mind for it to bob along to and I laugh again. It feels good to laugh today.
The fish start jumping. I change my fly a few times and cast out above where they are feeding so my emerger floats right through their dinner space. It’s funny to think about someone who just rolled in her own pee, out there casting gracefully and peacefully. Maybe the fish will sense my humor vibe and want to come hang out with me…
I set the hook on a fish that puts up a decent fight. To my surprise, it is a rather large white fish. My son comes running over to see the fish. We keep the net in the water and take it out so he and his friend can touch it. My puppy comes over and like every fish addict with a puppy, I can’t wait for her to meet her first of many fish. She smells, stares, and then smells some more; I take a solid one-hundred pictures of this moment, like every good soccer mom should.
We let the fish go and the boys yell ‘good-bye’ to it. I warm up at the camp fire and laugh again at the puppy who has singed a tiny bit of her whiskers from her first camp fire experience. If I could bottle up this moment of being outdoors with my family, and slowly sip from it during the weeks that I can’t get out, I would be the sort of annoyingly happy person that you assume is faking it but is genuinely that excited about everything. Instead Ill make a music video of this in my mind, music helps me remember things. Ya, I turn into a kid when I get a chance to be outdoors like this. A very strange kind of awkward, uncoordinated, over-excited kid.
It sounded cold, it was a lot of work last-minute planning that morning, it was a bunch of stress to change plans with my dear mother- who took my other two kids for a day of fun instead of coming out….
But I tell you all of this so that you can not only laugh at a woman in her 30’s rolling down a hill, but so that you can know that these kind of last minute adventures are also known as the ‘good stuff’, ‘the best stuff’, the ‘things we will always remember’.
We stayed until the moon lit up the river and our little guys said they were ready for bed. My kind of awkward and successful day on the river, indeed!
Here is another picture of my fat white fish (maybe what I will name my music video- the fat white fish and the white girl rolling down the hill).